I can't believe it.

My grandfather passed away this morning. And I'm really really sad. I didn't get to know him that well, and the man wasn't that great in general as far as the way he treated people and how bigoted he could be... but he was still my grandfather and I hate that he died in that big house all alone. :(

This makes me want to be back home with the people I love all the more.

So much has happened...

...Since my last post. I don't know where to start. I guess I'll just say... one of my first pick universities (American U.), which wait listed me just like NYU did, wants me to enroll. Which would mean picking up and moving yet again. And soon because I feel like if AU wants me I'd rather just withdraw and actually get SOME money back from U of NM instead of wasting an entire year of tuition. And I have only a couple of days to make this life-altering decision. The cons of moving back home would be:

*Giving up the peace and quiet that I've gotten used to
*Not getting to work with the Film Commission of Santa Fe
*Giving up this amazing house that's costing me very very little financially
*No more trips to Taos
*Won't be living close to my dad anymore (again)
*Washing away all the work I've put into my program so far
*The strong possibility that I'll have to give up that BBC internship

The pros would be:

*Being with my friends again, who I miss so much it hurts
*Joining one of the best Journalism and International studies programs in the nation
*Living with Rachel, who is pretty much one of my favorite people ever
*Guaranteed work with really good wages
*More things to do (with what little spare time I'll have)
*More career opportunities in my field
*Having a place to keep my puppy (if I return to the hospital, which I probably will, at first) so he doesn't have to be stuck alone in a crate all day and will have a whole staff of people loving on him constantly

So I have a lot to think about! Anyone want to give me some advise...?

Why would anyone trust me with their child?!

How the fuck did I just get roped into babysitting an 8 year old on Saturday, my spectacular day off... at 7 in the morning! Oh my God in heaven, this sucks. I don't know how to act around kids. Do I play with her? Do I let her do her own thing? What do 8 year olds eat? What if my dog scratches her by accident? What if she cries? Will she want me to read to her?

Oh man, what am I walking into?? I expect to make a rather lengthy post after she's gone....

Today

I went for a morning hike with Mike and my puppy.
I went to the theater myself and saw Across the Universe for the third time.
I signed up for cheap guitar lessons.
I removed the leather seats from my car because my dog would have fucking destroyed them.
I finally finished reading those chapters for my sociology class.
I restarted reading A Fan's Notes since I got to distracted by school to get through the first chapter a couple weeks ago.
I also started rereading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince for no real reason at all, just so I had something completely light to read when I needed a break from everything.
I went to Target and purchased a travel mug and new sheets.
I did my laundry.
I added a bunch of Beatles songs to my MP3 players.
I talked to Morgan on the phone.
I started making a list of possible wedding gifts to get for Jamie and Will.
I stopped by the ACLU office and volunteered to go with them to Albuquerque for some Darfur-related conference that is being sponsored by the Peace Corp.
I wrote a letter to my friend Libby, who I haven't spoken to in far too long.
I went to the Coop market and had a pretty good conversation with the cashier, who ended asking if I wanted to go for drinks sometime. (I said yeah. We exchanged information. I think he already has a girlfriend, which is good. I need more friends.)
I played with the neighbor's dog, who is a sweet old girl.

So it's been a pretty good Sunday, and it's only 6:30. I was going to go to this pot luck thing at Shauna's but I think I'd better stay in and get some more work done. Or, you know, mess around on the internet for a while. Whichever. My guitar lessons start tomorrow, I'm so excited! It was between that, the drums, or yoga. The yoga lessons would have been free since this chick in class is an instructor and told me I can take her class without paying but eh, I've tried yoga before and it's not for me. And I know I would suck at the drums and I don't believe in wasting my time or money these days. And as for the guitar, there are so many old songs I want to learn how to play even if my voice isn't... well, the best. But neither is Bob Dylan's, right? (I put in that reference for Yvonne, so I hope she reads this.)

The Patriots won today. Again. I love them. Not more than the Red Sox, but at least the Pats, y'know, WIN.

I can't decide whether to bring my dog with me in January or not. I know a mess of people want to see him, but it would be totally inconvenient and pricey. But I really want him to play with Alex's and Sarra's dogs, they would be so cute together! So we'll see.

Other random thoughts:

I really want to see that new documentary coming out on Darfur. I also want to see that new movie coming out, American Gangster, starring Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. In one of my classes, we're reading all about Margaret Fuller and Emerson. I'm absolutely fascinated by her work during the Mazzini Revolution of the late 1840s. And sociology is pretty much my favorite subject right now. I literally hate the fact that I can't change the world, but I really want to do my part. I'm still applying for dual citizenship, but I definitely will have to improve my Italian. I want to go there after graduation for a lengthy stay. I'm also starting to romanticize New York in my head again, which is always what happens when I see movies which take place there (i.e. Across the Universe).

I think I'm gonna go do some school work and then go to bed kind of early I have a long day tomorrow. I might pop in a DVD in a bit, I've been in the mood for Gladiator lately (though it's doubtful that I'll actually finish it tonight). I also think I'll have myself a glass of white wine. I'm really into wine lately. Am I actually becoming an adult?

This has been a nice weekend. I hope everyone is having as good a weekend as me.


PS - I'm becoming disgustingly upbeat. My apologies.

Random Statements of Fact

I'm seeing The Shins tonight in Albuquerque. I'm really fucking excited. I mean, really fucking excited! Also, I've been watching Freaks & Geeks a lot lately. I go through phases when I am absolutely addicted to those DVDs. And I think, with that and Knocked Up, I've developed a crush on Mr. Seth Rogen. He's not classically good looking, I suppose, but what normal person is these days? And I think I'm becoming homesick again. I miss my friends. I'm realizing now just how easy my life in VA was. I can't wait to visit in January. I wasn't going to visit again till summer, but I can't wait that long. I'm getting a car today, a Jeep I hope, and it's going to be sweet. I'll have to get it checked out by a mechanic, though, to make sure I don't get a lemon. This will make my life easier. My dog is getting so cute. He sleeps in bed with me now, at night. And he pretty much goes everywhere I go. He's getting so big! I'm sort of dating this guy named Mike. He's nice and all, but I'm not looking for anything too serious right now. Work is going well. I have some interesting opportunities coming up in the film world, if I can make some time. I'm addicted to orange Fanta because it's like the only thing the soda machine at work carries. I haven't seen any of the Office this season so I think I'm gonna have to watch it them online so I can go back to watching them on TV. I'm home alone a lot. I do nothing but study and read, really. The Balloon Fiesta on Sunday morning was amazing. I'm starting up my Netflix again because I miss it. I'm going to Albuquerque again this weekend to see Across the Universe for the second time because that movie is so amazing. I am in love with Jude, the main character. I haven't gone grocery shopping in ages. I had a migraine on Monday which kept me in bed all day. I feel much better now. I guess I have a lot more to say, but who's really interested? I'm good at Blogger Small Talk, I suppose.

Fun Activities

I've had a tough week with work and school, plus no money to do anything fun (which REALLY sucked Thursday when literally every friend I've made here in Santa Fe -- including my roommate Lauren and her sister and Michael, the guy I've sort of been "hanging out" with for a couple weeks -- all went to salsa night at this town bar/club, Willie's). So I've been sitting home a lot, reading, watching DVDs in the background -- when I found someone to fix my tv, that is. And as much as I like alone time, I also like going out and DOING stuff every once in a while. However, I think my weekend is going to make up for it: horseback riding in Taos with my friend Jess on her parents ranch and hiking and then the balloon festival in Albuquerque. Oh man, I can't wait. Jess and I were also discussing going for a road trip to Mexico, which is what we did last time I visited her in Taos, and it was a hell of a lot of fun. New Mexico is lookin' up.

Oh, and it looks like I'm going to buy a Jeep on Wednesday. I've been eyeing it for a while now and if I end up getting it, I think I'm going to call it "The Yellow Submarine." Finally I'll have somewhere to put my "New Mexico: Better Than Originial Mexico" bumper sticker. Just kidding... sort of.

I'm in such a good mood today!

More Beat Shenanigans

I just met someone who knows Hal Chase. THE Hal Chase! I wish I knew more people who are into the Beat movement so they could be as excited as I am. Where is Holt when you need her??

(Oh, and as a side note, I'm going to see if it's possible for me to get a dual citizenship for Italy since my mom has one. I'm pretty excited about it. I wonder if it would require me to know a lot of Italian....)