I'm in New Orleans this weekend visiting my grandpa. It's weird because he doesn't seem like the "monster" my dad has described him as all these years. But then again, he's very sick and much older and my dad hasn't seen him in nearly two decades. So I'm sure things, for Grandpa, have changed somewhat. He seems really scared, and lonely, and I can't believe I'm pretty much the only person to come visit him. Though... I suppose that's what happens when you've been hurtful to everyone in your life, in the end. He has a lot of interesting stories about the old house that's been in his family since the early 1900s. There's so much history here, and I love learning about it. I'm so scared that if my dad gets the house, he'll sell it the second that Grandpa's in the ground.
I was watching the last episode of Freaks and Geeks a few days ago, mainly because I'd never heard the commentary before (due to the fact that it's my 2nd favorite episode and I generally don't want a bunch of people talking in the background when I'm watching it). I love the scene when Lindsay is sitting around listening to the Grateful Dead's American Beauty album over and over and getting lost in it. I had never listened to a single Grateful Dead album in all my life -- I know, what kind of music lover do I call myself, right? -- and yesterday I had the desire to finally pick up American Beauty. So I did, and I've been listening to it incessantly, and it's amazing. I know it sounds lame, but for some reason it has made me feel so happy during this stressful time. Like everything's going to be OK. Is that stupid? Why is it, when I'm really down, music is the only thing that can lift me up again? It's strange and wonderful, and I think it would be very easy for me to lose myself in my love for a song.
I was looking through my grandpa's albums. He has a lot of old blues records, which is really cool, and some early Motown. He also has the Rolling Stones album Sticky Fingers, which makes me happy beyond belief since it's pretty much one of my favorite albums in the world. I think I'm going to have him listen to American Beauty and see what he thinks. Maybe it'll make him feel good, too.
Walk into splintered sunlight
Inch your way through dead dreams to another land
Maybe you're tired and broken
Your tongue is twisted with words half spoken and thoughts unclear
What do you want me to do, to do for you to see you through
A box of rain will ease the pain and love will see you through
About Me
- Natacia K
- “It isn't enough for your heart to break because everybody's heart is broken now.” -Allen Ginsberg
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The Grateful dead was my first concert. I was probably 14 or 15. Well, it was the first concert I had a say in, my first actual concert was Los Lobos with my mom and I think I cried because Ritchie Valens didn't show up. Yeah, I was pretty little at the time...I have never been a huge Dead fan and went to the concert because my boyfriend at the time was *really* into them. He didn't convert me. But I never really gave them a chance after that. I do know that I don't like the jerry garcia ties though. It probably has nothing to do with the music, or does it? hmm...
i never really gave them a chance before either... i had an image in my head of what their music was like upon meeting so many annoying "Dead heads" that i just figured it was a waste of my time. but i don't know, i suddenly had the urge and i'm glad. honestly, you should try listening to American Beauty at least. i'm not sure, but i think you'd really like it -- despite the jerry garcia ties. :P
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